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Move Past Mom Guilt For More Effective Self Care

Mom Guilt Self Care Tips
Mom Guilt Self Care Tips

4 Ways To Move Past Mom Guilt For More Effective Self Care

You feel it. The ever-present pressure squeezes your heart and keeps telling you how you are doing this all wrong. Your lack of self-care and the superhuman expectations placed on mothers today can sometimes leave you feeling like you’re constantly failing at being a mother yourself. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Motherhood is tough. It’s a lot of responsibility and not for the faint of heart. Some may say, “is mom guilt a thing?” Sure it is, and a multitude of situations can cause it. One of the most significant causes is not taking enough t me for yourself. When you don’t take care of yourself, it impacts every aspect of your life — especially your parenting skills. You can’t be a good mom if you aren’t taking care o  yourself first. Let me show you how to overcome mom guilt with four tips so you can get back to taking care of YOU:

Understand Your Needs

When you know yourself well enough to understand your needs, you don’t feel guilty about taking care of them. This is because you know that your needs fuel you and make you who you are. You also realize that it isn’t selfish to care for yourself—it’s necessary.

You can define “self-care” however works best for you (a bubble bath? or watching TV?). Still, most people agree it involves doing something that brings pleasure or even just distraction from the obligations of everyday life. If you’re trying to do everything right, though, there is a tendency to think that self-care is a “luxury” that should be denied so that you can save it for when everything else is done.

But when we have no time for self-care, we’re less patient with our children, less patient with our partners, and less patient with ourselves. And all of this leads to more mom guilt and feelings of inadequacy. So how do we move past mom guilt? By getting clear about what makes us tick and what we need to be at our best as moms. Then we can plan for self-care—allowing ourselves small indulgences whenever possible and ensuring our basic needs are met daily.

Stop Living According to Other People’s Expectations

Family is typically the most essential thing when you’re a mom. But losing ourselves and our sense of self is easy when we put our families first. We end up living according to the expectations of others: our partners, our families, and society as a whole. The truth is that only you can determine what’s best for you and your family.

You might feel drained and unfulfilled when you’ve found yourself trying to live up to someone else’s expectations. You might also feel resentment—that’s not good for anyone involved! When you aren’t the one making the rules, breaking them is extremely hard and can leave you feeling guilty about wanting something different.

"When you know yourself well enough to understand your needs, you don't feel guilty about taking care of them.

Instead of living according to other people’s expectations, try making changes to improve your self-care. Set achievable goals that are tailored to your specific needs and desires. Instead of constantly feeling guilty that you aren’t doing enough or feeling like a bad mother because you haven’t made time for yourself lately, think about letting go of guilt altogether. Hold onto your priorities without worrying whether or not you are meeting someone else’s standards.

Avoid The Comparison Trap

It’s easy to look at our friends and neighbors and feel like we’re failures for not living up to their standards. It can feel like all the other moms have it together, have never felt a moment of self-doubt, and are always so calm, collected, and graceful.

In reality, most other moms are in the exact same boat as you—struggling with feelings of guilt and anxiety over the expectations they’ve set for themselves. They worry about not being a good enough mom or wife. They feel guilty when they want to do something fun or independent. They try desperately hard to be the best version of themselves that they can be while still having time to devote to their families. Many of them feel like they’re constantly failing at some aspects of their relationships but beating themselves up for feeling that way because “all moms struggle” or “all parents make mistakes.”

Most people—even those who seem to have it all together—have the same issues you do but don’t talk about it because there isn’t a lot of support in our culture for parents to air their dirty laundry. That’s why I’m writing this blog post: I hope that by speaking out about my struggles with guilt, I can permit other parents to do the same.

Not only is asking for help an act of self-care, but by reaching out to others who want to help, you're also allowing them to feel good about themselves and their relationship with your family.

Ask For and Accept The Help You Need

When we are in the thick of it, it can seem like motherhood is one long string of thankless tasks and sacrifices. But if you step back from the chaos and look at the larger picture, you’ll see that you have a lot of people who love you and want to help you. Yet, sometimes, even when you need help, it can be hard to ask for it. That’s why it’s so important to remember that asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s just one way we can take care of ourselves when we need to.

Not only is asking for help an act of self-care, but by reaching out to others who want to help, you’re also allowing them to feel good about themselves and their relationship with your family. If a friend or family member offers help, don’t brush off their offer or assume they’re overstepping their bounds—take them up on their offer! Maybe you’ll have more time with your loved ones or get a chance to relax instead of running around all day to get things done.

It takes effort to maintain your health and energy throughout all the seasons of motherhood, but don’t be afraid to ask for the support you need.

If you’re constantly struggling with guilt and not taking care of yourself, it’s time for a reality check. Asking for help is a good thing. Putting your needs first does not make you selfish or ungrateful. Remember that self-care is always a work in progress, and it may be a challenging path. That’s okay—it’s normal, and it’s human. Generally, we accept this as adults, but we often forget it when it comes to our children. Mom guilt is a normal part of motherhood, but it doesn’t have to define us. So let’s focus on what is important: our health and well-being and the health and well-being of our children.

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The Pleasure Principle with Tara Galleano

Tara Galeano Well Beauty Lab Podcast
Tara Galeano WBL Podcast

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Intimacy is the ability to be seen and the ability to see another…with this characteristic of vulnerability. 

Live Well Tip of the Week: How well do you know what you find pleasurable? If you’re not sure you should take the time to find out. 

 In this episode our guest is Tara Galeano, clinical sexologist, licensed clinical therapist and sexual empowerment coach. Tara is here to help up understand what it means to experience sexual pleasure, get in tune with our own bodies and take back control over out sexual experiences. She is the author of Rediscovering My Body which teaches us how to show up for pleasure. Tara offers unique couple’s retreats, and ceremonial, sensual journeys that open doors to new experiences and communication with oneself and partners.

What You Will Learn In This Episode

6:06 – What is a clinical sexologist?

8:40 – Where does sex fit in with wellness?

11:40 – What is the difference between sex and intimacy?

14:23 – Preparing The Next Generation

18:50 – How do we discover pleasure for ourselves?

24:25 – Where to look for help

27:26 – What is a sexual empowerment coach?

32:08 – Finding pleasure 101

Connect with Tara Website Facebook LinkedIn

Grab your copy of the Wisdom Journal here

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Behind Frenemy Lines with Dr. Amber Tichnor

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Sometimes we can’t recognize what is happening in the moment. It is often more clear in hindsight but listen to your body it may be trying to tell you if something is off. 

Live Well Tip of the Week: You can’t force anyone to like you and you shouldn’t try. Not everyone is going to like you and not everyone is going to be your friend. That’s ok!

In this episode, our guest Dr. Amber Tichnor. Amber is the To Be Coaching and Consulting, a women’s rivalry coach, and author of the book Behind Frenemy Lines.  Amber is committed to helping women recognize and release their frenemies so they can rediscover their truths, communicate their needs and build empowering. Amber breaks down how rivalry relationships affect us socially and emotionally as well as how we begin to dismantle these behaviors. Amber also helps us to understand where the concept of frenemies begins in our lives and how we can do better with the next generation.   relationships that uplift and support their lives.

What You Will Learn In This Episode

5:54 – What is a frenemy?

7:00 – How reality TV feeds the drama

8:44 – Where do the issues begin?

11:40 – Holding on to grudges

16:33 – Recognizing the problem

23:00 – Being a better leader

25:50 – Organizational Culture

28:15 – Raising Kind Girls

34:05 – Building Authentic Relationships

Connect with Amber Website Facebook  Instagram LinkedIn

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The Doubt From Within with Philicia Wallace

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Self doubt has killed more dreams than failure ever could. Slaying those thoughts is a daily process that we must actively work on. It is the only way that we can show up in our God given purpose. 

In this episode, our guest Philicia Wallace is going to  share with us what self doubt looks like and how we can overcome it to show up as our best selves. Philicia is the Founder of Slaying Self Doubt, LLC, a Purpose Empowerment Coach, and host of the Slaying Self Doubt™ Podcast.  Through her professional endeavors, she seeks to empower black women to identify and conquer troubling doubts and insecurities. Her relatable coaching and mentoring style has created a space of security and comfort for her audiences, allowing women to freely be themselves to begin a beautiful transition. Her words and wisdom will empower and produce self-love, help others embrace who they’re becoming, and encourage them to step into their God-given purpose. She is committed to helping Black women find their fears and SLAY them.

Live Well Tip of the Week: 
Sometimes you need to be your own hype man. External praise is great and we all love to receive it but being able to hype yourself up is what will get you past self doubt. 

What You Will Learn In This Episode

6:00 – What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

7:00 – How much of our fear is about our past experiences?

9:37 – Is it fear of failure or imposter syndrome?

11:10 – Are you actually afraid of succeeding?

12:03 – The stories we tell ourselves

13:15 – What happens when you get exactly what you prayed for?

15:30 – Everyone in your life now can’t go with you to your next level

21:39 – Waiting on your confirmation from God

28:45 – How does self doubt show up for you?

33:40 – The benefit of journaling

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Silencing Your Inner Critic with Natolie Warren

Guest Natolie Warren

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We all have that little voice in our heads where every time you try to do something new or accomplish a goal, it says you’re not good enough.  How can you shut your inner critic and turn up the volume to your inner cheerleader?

In this episode, Natolie Warren joins us to explore the silencing of the inner critic. Natolie is a whole woman experience coach and a licensed psychotherapist. She focuses on helping women live a fulfilled life that aligns with their soul purpose using the power component in their mindset and inner transformational technique. As a therapist, she also brings her own experience with personal transformation to help guide you on your life-changing journey.

In this session, Natolie shares where our inner critic comes from, how to build a relationship with your inner critic and replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. Besides, she expounds on how you can help your children manage their inner critics and get extra support if you can’t manage that inner critic.

Live Well Tip of the Week:  Remember that there is power in your words, especially those you speak to yourself.

A Quote from Our Guest: We have about 65,000 thoughts, and out of the 65,000, 75% of them are negative. However, 90% of those thoughts are thoughts we thought of yesterday. So, every day we are recycling old negative thoughts and beliefs.

Takeaways That You’ll Learn From This Episode:

  • Natolie expounds on how our brain is made up of and where the critic comes from. The negative critical thoughts come from our life experiences.
  • Build a relationship with your inner critic, notice when your inner critic shows up, and implement practical steps to silence the inner critic.
  • Thank your inner critic because you needed the protection at one point, but you don’t need it now.
  • Acknowledge you, inner critic, call her out, choose what voice you follow, and choose to do something your inner critic tells you not to do.
  • Courage is a muscle that grows with use. Take those baby steps and get the courage to act and silence your inner critic.
  • Our brains are retrainable and replace negative thoughts. When you create new thoughts, you create a new neural pathway in your brain.
  • Help your kids manage their inner critics by acknowledging their thoughts and feelings. Do not challenge them but rather encourage them to speak out their feelings.
  • Sometimes you may get paralyzed by your inner critic, even at your best self. Get extra support from a therapist if you cannot manage your inner critic.
  • No matter where you are on your journey, you can learn to do these steps. If you have to practice, that’s okay. But you get to choose what ways to follow.

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When Mother’s Day Is a Trigger

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Mother’s day can trigger most people for different reasons. It could be that they lost a child or are struggling to get children. Although most women try to maintain that smile and laughter, they’re suffering within. How can society approach and support childless women? How can we understand them and not question them unless they let us in their space?

In this episode, I share why mother’s day could be a trigger for some women. 

Before having my daughter, I had been on an infertility journey without success, which took an emotional toll on me. Mother’s day was never appealing to me as it’s something I desperately wanted to be a part of.

In this session, I share the best approaches when dealing with childless women or those who’ve lost their kids. Tune in and learn how best we can treat women on their fertility journey or those undergoing child loss.

Live Well Tip of the Week:  You don’t owe anyone any explanations.

A Quote from Our Guest:  There are some things we shouldn’t ask. We just have to wonder about some things until the information is offered to us. Underneath the laugh and the smile could be a woman that’s hurting because of the journey they are on.

Takeaways That You’ll Learn From This Episode:

  • My fertility journey and undergoing several rounds of medication which took an emotional and mental toll on me. The idea of mothers day wasn’t appealing till I got my daughter.
  • Never ask someone when they will have kids. Although the question may seem harmless to you, you do not know what they are going through.
  • With mothers day around, we need to be cognizant about those who are unable to celebrate.
  • When you ask a woman who already has their first child when they will add another one, your inquiry might be a painful reminder of what they are struggling with or unable to do. It could even be a danger to their health.
  • Everyone’s journey and experience are different, and not everyone gets to enjoy motherhood. 
  • One in five women struggle to get pregnant within the first year of trying, and you’re not alone in this process.
  • Listen more than you speak. Be supportive and offer fewer suggestions. Be a reminder of their joy, not of the pain.
  • Offer grace and space for that woman to feel however she feels when it comes to mothers day. Don’t force her to put on a happy face, don’t try to force her to appreciate what she has. She’s pretty aware of that.  Let her be because those feelings are valid.

To connect with me



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The Lie of Perfection with Bianca Johnson

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Welcome to Well Beauty Lab Podcast! In today’s episode, we discuss ways of taking Care of yourself with Bianca Johnson. Bianca is a breakthrough and empowerment coach that helps you identify what you truly want in life, uproot what is holding you back, and empower you to take action toward the life of your dreams.  

While studying  psychology in college, she was introduced to the mind-body-spirit connection, which completely transformed her life. Bianca believes that in order to live a fulfilled and abundant life we must be well in body, mind, and soul; this is why her signature approach to coaching and healing is centered on mind-body-spirit teachings. Bianca fuses inner healing techniques with positive thinking and spiritual connection to create a holistic approach to becoming your best self and creating your best life. She believes that you can be, do and have everything that your heart desires. 

By using her wisdom and experiences to help awaken others to their true potential. Bianca is committed to helping you become the best version of yourself and create the best version of your life. Her work is currently delivered in online workshops, 1:1 coaching, and destination retreats. 

Live Well Tip of the Week: Embrace the Messy.

A Quote from Our Guest: “Be real and raw and let your true self be shown and be unapologetic and go after your dreams and desire because that is what life is about” by Bianca Johnson.

Takeaways That You’ll Learn From This Episode:

  • Bianca discusses some of the signs that show we are stuck in perfectionist and possible ways to move past your perfectionist ways.
  • People pleasing, overworking, self-sabotaging, and overachieving are some of the signs that you are a perfectionist. She says people who are always looking for extra validation are perfectionists.
  • Inner work! Deconstructing the belief that you are already perfect will help stop a person from being a perfectionist.
  •  Being yourself! You should not be trying to be someone else or comparing yourself with people like Influencer, authors, etc
  • Learning about Emotional Freedom Techniques.
  • Working on your fear will help create a sense of safety within yourself.
  • Perfectionism and motherhood. A perfectionist can pass the behavior to other people like mums to their kids.
  • The messy moments are the best, perfect and memorable.
  • Being honest! Knowing where your love lies, your joy, and passing, or identifying the things you love doing will really help in answering the hard questions and avoiding the textbook answers.
  • Ways that the battles against corruption come in.

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Getting Unstuck with Tanya J Miller

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Welcome to Well Beauty Lab Podcast. In today’s episode, we have Tanya J Miller who is an author, speaker, coach, and strategist.  She is well known for helping individuals and organizations discover their purpose, vision, and destiny. She is a pro at helping people work through their mindset and get to their best selves.

Tanya has written several books including Mind Matters, Pro Journal: Vision on Purpose, Things my Mama Said, Provision: Purpose Validated Seven Times.

She is a certified life coach with over eighteen years of experience working with youth, young adults, and women throughout the community. She also holds a BBA in finance and business management from Northwood University and an MBA from Regent University. In addition, she has;

  • Earned an Advanced Diploma in Christian Life Coaching
  • Certified and credentialed as a Board Certified Master Christian Life Coach (BCMCLC)
  • Member of the International Board of Christian Care (IBCC), and a part of the AACC Christian Coaching Alliance (CCA).

Tune in to listen to Tanya sharing about how you can get yourself unstuck.

Live Well Tip of the Week: Do your homework

A Quote from Our Guest: The purpose is your DNA. It’s the reason why you are wherever you are. You may express purpose in different positions and things but when you look back at all those things it goes back to who you are.

 Takeaways That You’ll Learn From This Episode:

  • Tanya discusses the signs that show you are stuck. They include complaining about things, feeling like you are on pause for a long time and having no new accomplishments.
  • Support your relationships with other people and necessarily do not compare yourself with others. Be there for them, let them feel your impact. Don’t act as a barrier but as a stepping stone. 
  • You are the main cause of the roadblock to your mentality and emotions. Move past your comfort zone and this will help you avoid being stuck within yourself or in your relationships with others.
  • It’s good to protect yourself from being hurt but in other instances just be you. Show the real you in relationships and avoid being a people pleaser. This will help you not be stuck with people you don’t deserve to be with.
  • Know your purpose and vision.
  • Vision is what’s specific to your life. It may echo what other people have done in your life but it should not be the basis of where you are trying to go.
  • Teach your teenagers how to find purpose and help them to map out their vision.
  • Finally have family meetings with your kids and have the conversation that you wish your parents had.

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Embracing Fearlessness with Tina Fears

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Welcome to Well Beauty Lab Podcast! In today’s episode, we discuss the definition  of true fearlessness with Tina Fears. Tina is the founder of Stage Ready LLC, a full-service production company that offers award-winning production management, creative direction, and memorable performance experiences for entertainers, beauty, and lifestyle brands across the world via diverse platforms and levels of influence. Her work as an actor, singer, and dancer includes regional productions of Simply Simone, Dreamgirls, and In The Heights to name a few! Tina has also featured in national commercials for Walmart, Ford, The Home Depot, Coca-Cola, and Shoe Carnival. Her role as Clara Ward in the Emmy nominated National Geographic anthology series Genius: Aretha  2021  is now available on HULU. Tina received the 2021 African American Women in Cinema Trailblazer Award and the 2021 HAPA Breakthrough Performance Award  for her work on Genius.  Advocacy is at the core of Tina’s passion as a creative and she knows first hand what is means to conquer your fears!

  • Live Well Tip of the Week: Whose judgment are you really concerned about?
  • A Quote from Our Guest: “Being fearless to me is really just facing your fear head on. It’s about recognizing your fears and figuring out how to navigate in order to overcome them. Acknowledging them but not allowing them to hold you back from living a full life.” ~ Tina Fears

6 Takeaways That You’ll Learn From This Episode:

  • Tina discusses with us what it looks like to be in position for what God has in store for us! She also teaches us the value in allowing our life wins, plans, goals to be ordered by the Lord.
  • Learning how to face our fears in order to stand in the authenticity of who we truly are. It can be a lifelong process/journey!
  • Give yourself grace! Allow yourself room to grow and craft your own journey. Everyone’s journey looks different. Grace is the key to balancing business and motherhood!
  • Tina shares how to focus on the end goal and showing up in excellence!
  • Identifying  what you are truly passionate about so that you can feel fulfilled and live in your happiest self! 
  • Once you identify your vision, write it down so that it becomes tangible. Then begin to craft the steps that would help you to accomplish the vision! When you know its something you’ve been called to do, you will be able to move forward even when it may feel uncomfortable, in order to achieve it!

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Recovery Mode with LaKeisha Entsuah

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How often are you taking the time to acknowledge your self care needs? It can be so easy to neglect the deep areas of our self care, as we go about our daily lives and busy schedules. We must be intentional about acknowledging where we are within our individual self care journeys. When we choose to be intentional, then we can avoid pouring from an empty cup due to neglecting ourselves for so long! 

  • Live Well Tip of the Week: How often are you checking in with yourself? Are you pouring from your overflow or pouring from a deficit? Is your cup completely empty? This is why the recovery mode of self care is so important! 
  • A Quote from Our Host: “Know when to pull back and make the necessary adjustments to your daily routine during your recovery mode.” ~ LaKeisha Entsuah

7 Takeaways That You’ll Learn From this Episode:

  • Before beginning your self care recovery mode, start by acknowledging & writing down your areas of need. This will help you to develop a plan of action to achieve a successful recovery journey!
  • Learn to adjust your boundaries by examining the people, places, and things that you are currently exposed to!
  • Know when to pull back and make the necessary adjustments to your daily routine during your recovery mode. 
  • You must be checking in with yourself regularly to recognize the need to refill your cup! 
  • Know when to limit access to a person or thing that is draining you. It could be temporary or permanent. Adjust as necessary. 
  • Do an audit of your own schedule in order to determine where you can make adjustments. 
  • You can set yourself up for a successful self care recovery mode by also activating your support system! If you don’t have a support system, begin to build your support system around the areas of your life that need the most attention.

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